Cribs.
Now, I know my babies deserve the best. Or, societal norm demands that I, as a mother, give my children nothing short of the highest care and love.
But do they really need separate cribs? I mean, I could just put the two of them in the same one, like baby cubs. Let them duke it out who gets the bigger half. They'll grow up tougher. Better yet, it'll save me a couple hundred dollars.
As for clothing, I think I'd probably hold off on buying them those too until they can actually roll over and sit up on their own. Once they're mobile, then they'll actually need warmth and comfort that follows them. For now, my old bathrobe will suffice.
I've never been inside a Babies R' Us, but I get a strong feeling it's actually a store made for retards. I imagine that the moment you step inside, you're greeted by a middle-aged woman, dressed in a Strawberry Shortcake costume, smiling and welcoming you, while hiding the bitter fact that she works there to support the six brats she has to feed at home.
Oh, yes. I see through her facade.
Then, there are all those parents, cooing over their babies and the little clothes they get to dirty. The little toys they get to destroy. The little utensils they get to choke on.
After five minutes, and not a second longer for fear that my head might explode, I step back outside. Thank god I left the twins at home.
Forget it. My babies can sleep in the kitchen sink, rolled up in bath towels.
